Musical Tadpoles

My trust in people is fragile. This trusting heart is bruised and still remembers the pain of his blind faith. I have close friends, a few of them and i trust them. Every now and then, i still meet new people, make new friends and... i still give them my trust. Haha.. there's a saying, "a leopard never changes its spots" It's never failed to crack me up laughing at myself.

Some of my friends praised me for having such courage to place faith in people, some called me an idiot. In my reply to them, i always tell them I am no saint for i have fears too, lots of them. The fears from self-doubt, fears of pain and disappointment and all sorts of fears that come in different shapes and sizes!
But I told them, it would be truly sad when i finally give up trusting people, the one day when this heart grows numb.

I remembered a story that I read a long time ago. It's a simple love story about a boy who gave his all to this girl whom he really liked, but she couldn't appreciate it. Not that she didn't, but she couldn't. The mysterious death of the girl's parents at a young age tore the fabric of her innocent mind and stole from her everything she knew as happiness. All she was left with was a chain of malicious deceits and childhood violence under a precarious guardianship. Devastated, she closed her heart to others and started doubting every kind intention directed at her. There was one sickly boy who was particularly kind to her. He was always there to shield her with his frail body whenever she got rounded up by big bullies. He would show up again - with bruises all over, when the bullies confront her the next time. Despite his sacrifices, the girl didn't accept him, for her heart was an abyss - devoid of joy and sadness. But the boy never gave up.

Years later, they both grew up. The boy became a reporter and was adamant in unraveling the mystery behind the death of the girl's parents. However, his relentless pursue for the truth was shrouded by an insidious conspiracy involving powerful political figures in the backdrop. In his dangerous attempt, the boy lost his life. When the girl read the note that the boy left her, she wept her first drop of tear in many years. In his note he wrote, "Everyday, it's been the happiest moments in my life waiting by your doorstep, hoping for the day you would let me into your heart. The only regret i have... is i couldn't be there tomorrow, anymore..."

That moment, she recalled all things he did for her and the sacrifices he made all these years. Breaking into violent sobbing, she repeatedly cried,"thank you.."
The boy had taught her how to feel again.

When you waste time doubting a person, you really don't know what you losing until you finally lost it. What could you possibly gain from doubts?

It was partly due to a certain someone i met that triggered such a sudden gush of emotions. It reminded me of this story. It is so unfair to start doubting people just because of your previous bad experiences. He was never part of it.

Everyone deserves a chance, both when to be trusted and doubted. My trust is as what merchants would put into their stores, "Once broken, considered sold"
It's difficult to regain my trust once a person loses it, nevertheless I share my initial trust in people generously.

For every new beginning, i still want it to begin with "I believe..."